


Two-by-Four

by ProtoNeoRomantic



Series: I Want Another First Kiss [33]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Bisexuality, Developing Relationship, Episode: s04e18 Where the Wild Things Are, First Kiss, Flowers, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Fluid Sexuality, Kinsey Scale, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 05, Slash, heteroflexable Giles, homoflexable Xander, lips, quite possibly the cleanest most wholesome thing I've ever written, right between the eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoNeoRomantic/pseuds/ProtoNeoRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A first kiss Giles and Xander might have shared in Season 5 in light of one particular scene I think we all remember from Season 4. (5 of 7)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two-by-Four

If Xander was being honest, it had started (for him) that night at the Espresso Pump. He could have told himself it was because of the spooky, sexy goings on at Lowell House. Maybe for a while he did tell himself that. At least part of the time. But from that moment, watching Giles, listening to him sing, he pretty much knew. Not anything about Giles exactly, beyond the fact that he was, obviously, fairly attractive. But after that night, Xander pretty much knew that he was living in a closet called denial and that eventually, he'd have to come out.

When he had, months later, more or less by way of explanation for his break up with Anya; Giles hadn't said much. Oddly, despite the shock with which he had greeted Willow's similar news only a few weeks earlier, he didn't seem particularly surprised. Of course, there again, to be honest, assuming he wasn't blind and had actually seen the way they'd _both_ looked at him that not-so-long-ago night, that really kind of explained both reactions.

And that was that. Giles knew Xander was gay. And Xander knew Giles was kinda hot for his age. (Okay, okay, for any age.) For a while that's all there was to it. Xander figured it always would be. Granted, no one had seen or heard much about Olivia since the Gentlemen thing had gone down. But Xander took the fact that she had ever been there at all, plus Miss Calendar as proof enough of straightness. I mean, sure, Xander had been with girls. Recently even. And it wasn't like he could say the memories were all bad. But he was only twenty. Giles was old enough to know what he wanted.

So when the G-Man pulled up in his new red convertible and asked Xander if he wanted to go for a ride, he really didn't think much about it. They were friends. With every post-high-school day that passed, more so. Friends enough for Giles to be the first person he called to help him move out of his parent's basement into a tiny little apartment that sucked up most of his income but saved him from his mother's constant hand wringing and his father's passive-aggressive 'jokes' basically blaming her for making him a sissy-boy. An apartment where Giles came over to hang out a little sometimes. Usually to listen to music. Mostly things he wanted to introduce Xander to, which were usually worth hearing.

After a few more rides, a couple of cups of coffee, a meal or two they had both eaten for which Giles then paid; Xander still didn't think much of it. Maybe he caught himself wishing and wondering a little more than usual. But he didn't let himself think too much about it. Didn't let it go to the point of true erotic fantasy. Much. He knew straight guys didn't like to be thought about that way.

So when Giles had come up with a couple of tickets to go and see _Hamlet_ all the way in L.A., with some guy who was supposed to be good, Xander said “Sure, why not.” He didn't care much one way or the other about Shakespeare, but they both needed a break from the heavy atmosphere in Sunnydale; what with Joyce in and out of the hospital, Glory breathing down their necks, Willow and Tara becoming a nation of two, Riley getting all heart-attacky then freaking out about not being He-Man, Dawn dealing with her identity issues, and Buffy getting extra cranky and bossy to keep from freaking out about all of it.

It didn't even surprise him when Giles showed up in a tux. He had said to dress up, and Xander himself was wearing a jacket, and a shirt with a collar. The flowers surprised him though. Not roses, of course. Lilacs of all possible things. Was there anything gayer than lilacs? For a minute Xander thought maybe he should be insulted. But then Giles smiled that nervous, little smile. The way guys do when they want to ask you out.

“Gee,” Xander I'm-joking-unless-you're-serioused, feeling like he'd been smacked right between the eyes. (Stunned was definitely the word.) “First you invite me to dinner and a show, then you bring me flowers? Careful there, pal. Anybody who didn't know better might think this was a date.”

Giles smiled completely differently. A teasing, self mocking little smile. “And what if it was?” he asked. “Would that be so bad?”

Xander stood there in the doorway, floored. He almost dropped his lilacs. That joke wasn't one. Giles wasn't joking. This was definitely a date. Now that he thought about it, maybe not their first one. Or at least, that could probably be the truth if he wanted it to be. It was up to Xander to say. Hence the nervous little smile. The oh so familiar please-don’t-hurt-me smile. Xander wasn't used to being on the receiving end of that, especially from one of his most importantly friendly friends. It was harder and scarier than he'd ever imagined it might be watching from the other very scary, very hard side of it all these years, all these times. “Giles,” he finally managed, “I never even knew you were gay.”

Giles laughed just a tiny bit and smiled yet another type of smile. Still deeply amused, but warmer. Eyes crinkled. “Quite possibly because I'm not,” he said, doing that cryptic yet blasé British thing. This time it annoyed Xander more than usual. Because it mattered more than usual.

“Well, if you're straight, what the hell are you leading me on for?” he demanded, trying to be just kidding, not quite making it. He was deeply confused and just a little bit angry. Maybe more than a little bit.

Giles laughed again, even more warmly. His eyes softened even more. It was a look of infinite, patient gentleness. He reached out a hand and caressed Xander's cheek in a way that encouraged him to raise his chin. And his eyes. And his hopes.

“Xander, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your dichotomy,” Giles explained. Which explained nothing. But when Giles leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Xander's, that part at least made sense. Or, well, it made something. Heat. Light. Electric revelations. Something. When their mouths opened just a little, merged, just for a moment; that moment made a little more of whatever it was. “Now do you understand,” Giles whispered gently. Their lips were still so close, almost touching. Xander shook his head. But leaned in for another, deeper kiss.

“I'm sorry,” Giles whispered a bit sheepishly when they finally parted a few inches, anxiety and hope and something a lot more delicate hanging between them. “I feel silly having to name it and I feel silly not wanting to. I'm, well, at least I, I _suppose_ I'm... bisexual? Or at least, erm, something like that. Such an odd word though. 'bisexual'. Makes me sound like some kind of exotic invertebrate sea creature.” He forced a laugh, not very convincingly.

Xander took his hand, not sure if he was being supportive or if he needed it to hold on to. “You're still making the kind of sense that's not here,” he mumbled, channeling his inner Oz, trying to be cool about the fact that he desperately needed clarification. Needed it like air. Like love.

“It's been so long since I felt this way about another man, I'd honestly all but forgotten,” Giles confessed, squeezing his hand, suddenly seeming less anxious, more hopeful. More happy. So much so that Xander couldn't suppress a goofy grin of his own as he was flooded with relief. Knowing somehow that this was all okay, whether it made sense or not. Giles would never hurt him, never lead him on, no matter what all this babel about 'not being gay' meant.

“I'd got to the point that I could confidently check the box, you know,” Giles went on explaining, still smiling, in fact, blushing a little. “Exactly a 'one' on the Kinsey scale.” Xander nodded, pretending to have a clue in hell what he was talking about. Probably some British thing. “I had it all worked out, you see. All explained. Youthful Experimentation,” Giles pronounced crisply, with definite but good-natured self derision. “But, Xander...” and now Giles was clasping both of his hands, including the one clutching that stupid bunch of lilacs, looking into his eyes so deeply that Xander thought his heart might stop from the depth and beauty and overall greenness of those green eyes.... “Oh, Xander... The way I feel about you is... well... It's certainly more than incidental.”


End file.
